Vapid Rapids


I was feeling feels this morning thinking about beauty, societal conditioning and the release of endorphins that is associated with feeling beautiful. There are so many variables associated, both internal and external. (This was all after posting a photo of myself on Instagram.) I have a tendency to delete the photos I post because I don’t want to be vain. I teeter totter on a tight rope of shoulds shouldn’t in regards to anything focusing on appearance.  I have a strong appreciation for authenticity, individuality and intelligence. Focusing on the way I look was always more of a distraction than anything else.

Read More

Venting

1. Insulting men in celebration of women’s day is not congruent with the definition of equality. 

2. Common sense is important and so is math. 
3. Social media bandwagoning can be a first class ticket to an emotionally driven black hole of ignorance.

4. People change their minds as they develop and learn. Attacking that aspect of maturation is attacking growth and progression. 

5. Hurting people hurt people. These same people may be more susceptible to the convoluted manipulative rhetoric of entertainment news. 

6. I wish everyone would read several sources of opposing views before pressing the share button. Collectively, it would make finding the truth much more efficient.

7. There are grey areas, but that doesn’t mean there are not moral values. There is intrinsic good and evil. Life is about figuring out what that even means.

–  Tavia Rahki 

How We Doin’?


I always tell myself I want to be someone my younger self would think is awesome.

I was an inquisitive kid, I eavesdropped on adult conversations and asked questions so much that my Mom paid me to be quiet on more than one occasion. I remember wondering what made people the way they are.

Sometimes I have conversations with the idea of my younger self (1st/2nd grade) and I ask her questions about staying true to myself…How are we doing? Are you happy with who we are becoming?

This could just be the crazy in me but I do really thinks it’s a powerful exercise and it’s shaped my life in many ways. It keeps me in tune with my inner child, with adventure, curiosity, vulnerability and honesty.

Kids are wise in ways we only hope to never forget. What better kid to consult with than yourself?

The kid who knows all your deepest wildest dreams. The kid who knows the snotty side of you that the world frowns upon. The kid that wasn’t afraid of judgement until the world taught them to be. The kid that has your back. The kid that can help you find your freedom.

learn & love

img_4080

Live in divine purpose, love the journey, and seek the light of truth. Know that each and every one of us carries a unique light with the potential to illuminate the shadows of existence, unveiling the beauty of all that is yet to be discovered and understood. My expanse into this portal of revelation is through immersion in art, yoga and science; the intimidation of the unknown dancing with the thirst of curiosity. In my search to find where these phenomena collide, I met a true appreciation for the quenching awesomeness of knowledge, the essence of wonder; a path to freedom.

Namaste,

Tavia Rahki

El

img_9935

 

Dear fellow Human,

No one can do you quite like you. I think exploring that universe is one of the finest adventures life has to offer.

Namaste,

Tavia Rahki

Message to Self 

I got this butterfly in Peru 2012 and I’ve had it on my wall ever since as a reminder that we are all evolving and changing.

You don’t have to explain everything to everyone. Your life is yours alone to understand. Like abstract art, it’s simply there… it speaks a story without saying anything at all. People may have different interpretations of your life that are far from your own, some may make assumptions about what you do or why.  Sometimes these judgements come from the ones we care deeply about; friends, family, peers etc. 

 That’s okay. That’s expected. That’s a part of life. 

What matters is your genuine honesty with all that is you!

 Stand tall on your two feet and walk the walk. It’s your journey…the only person who needs to grasp the impact and purpose of each step is you. 

Dealing with Divorce

After my parents divorced I couldn’t look at ‘The Huxtables’ without feeling a ripping tear at my heart. (I grew up watching the Cosby show with my family and I remember the pride I had in how perfect I felt my family was). Keep in mind, I was just a year shy of starting college when the divorce monster was birthed from nowhere (at least for me it seemed quite sudden). My point is, it was the hardest thing I’ve dealt with in my 25 years. 

(still thankful, I know it could be worse …trying to stay as positive as possible here)

Divorce is hard. I assume everyone knows this… so, I guess that’s why I haven’t ever written about it from my personal experience. 

The hardest part of all is trying not to re-live the past over and over in my mind, analyzing what went wrong or trying to put pieces together. It’s exhausting. 

 I can now say that for the first time I didn’t see the past or feel anger and grief, I didn’t think first of my “used-to-be” family…(I saw this photo while searching for memes and my first thought was of how cute and convincing Cliff and Claire were at acting in love on the show. Their chemistry was amazing.) My parents had that picture perfect love as well, but it was very real! That’s what makes divorce so difficult and hard to understand.  

  I love the gift of love and I want everyone to find theirs truly. 

Understanding that everyone deserves this blessing, sets me free form condemning either of my parents for divorce. 
If I do sit and think about it for too too long (more than a few minutes), I do feel the tickles of despair creeping in, but I’m choosing to not let that pull me back. I’m moving forward.  I think I am feeling true forgiveness.  I’m thankful to be writing about this without crying or feeling a hot intensity behind my neck and throat, without placing blame or feeling inadequacy. I have my yoga teacher training to thank greatly for guiding me to this open self reflection and expression.

So Mom and Dad, I love you both dearly and I’m glad the stars aligned, and He put us together (literally our DNA is unique to us in a special way!). I wish nothing but joy  for you both. Thank you for making me who I am today.

I’m healing! I’m healthy! I’m happy! I’M HERE!

That’s something to celebrate.

I think I’ve been approaching life in simple dimensions, trying to gather all the information I can to crack the code. But maybe, it is not a puzzle to be solved, it’s an experience to be had. Being in the moment is truly the only way to be satisfied with not having all the answers. True happiness. But there’s a catch, you can’t live in ignorance either. You take on the full experience. The good and the bad (still figuring out what that really means). And then I guess you have some faith and  the whole picture  comes together.  

September Eleventh Two-thousand & sixteen – Feels

The more I seek, the more I witness and discover key details of our existence becoming a part of my conscious reality. Like how timeless struggles for power and survival have shaped the state of today’s human experience. I cannot ignore the distrust, the lack of interconnectedness. Many have distrust of our own country and its leaders, of our neighbors, sometimes even our families. It’s a daunting curiosity that lingers in almost every space; the feeling of wondering how safe we are in the most seemingly comfortable places. We are too deeply entangled in our our delusions and addictions to recognize and approach this distrust with an air of unified clarity. To me it feels like a white noise that either keeps you asleep or is a constant reminder of a much needed awakening. My heart tells me to trust the timing of the universe and the power of love. By confidently trusting in a Divine web of perfect timing through love and humility, we can cast out any fears or paranoia about matters beyond our individual control. I want to send my love to the lives lost and the minds traumatized by the events that occurred on 9/11. We all hope that nothing like this will every happen again, but it has…and it continues to happen on and off “our soil”. (Big or small, events like this only display the lowest and most chaotic vibrations of human potential).I pray that we can come together to do better, to illuminate the future with compassion and understanding, and with genuine respect for the differences of nations. I pray for unity. I pray for peace. I pray for progress. I pray for global enlightenment. 

Right on Time 

I’ve kind of been in a funk lately since my 25th birthday last Sunday. I let in some deeply negative thoughts and they stayed for a while. I sat with it, observed it; crippling feelings of stress, uncertainty, insecurity and fear. I let my honest emotions creep in and teach me something about myself. Yesterday I cried it out. Shortly after that, I got my real smile back.

 When I got home tonight I had a flood of nostalgia, both happy and sad memories that have shaped who I am today. What triggered this rush of rewinded thoughts? 

This little guy featured in the photo below 
 It’s 2am and I just finished packing after a four hour drive and we have a flight leaving at 7am. Hope I didn’t forget anything in my delusional drowsy packing attempt. Anyways, this is Mr. Boo Boo…he watches my stuff when I’m gone and loves me unconditionally. He’s also a stuffed symbol of my first love and current partner (who I am forever grateful for). I made him at Build-A-Bear ten years ago. Once I thought he was lost forever but I found him again. If you would have asked me a few years ago what my life would be like today, I would have been pretty far off…but it’s nice that some things are unpredictable. It reminds me that there are grand forces at work, playing on the strings of faith and intuition. I’m a seeker, a dreamer, a lover, a student of the universe finding her way and I’m happy to be where I am right in this moment.